Dealing with the past?

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    My partner has Bipolar and had it for a while before meeting me. I find it quite hard to deal emotionally with my partners past. Now, it’s nothing really to do with me and I guess it’s because I care so much, but I really am upset about how she lived and how people treated her then.

    She was quite promiscuous and took drugs. She tried things I never dreamt she would be capable of and it hurts. I know it wasn’t her and I know she didn’t know her limits maybe but from time to time when I think about it I can’t get past it to see her.

    Sometimes I wish her quality of transparency and honesty wasn’t so wholehearted.

    They do say what you don’t know won’t hurt. Does this affect anyone else’s relationship?


    Hi John,

    I also have bipolar d/o. I was diagnosed about 4 years ago and did many, many questionable things prior to my diagnosis and treatment. I am going to say, if you love her..then love her. Her past is her past. It doesn’t necessarily reflect who she is today. I can say for myself, I am definitely not the person I was. I know understand why I did some of the things I did. I do not want to be judged by my past behaviors. I want to be loved for who I am now and what I have learned from my past. It may be a shock to you, however I will say for me telling my partner about my past was painful and yet liberating. Being that transparent, that wholehearted freed me from those demons. It allowed me to begin healing from that life. It also serves as a reminder for me to work at managing this disorder and not return to the miserable existence I once had. Good luck to you and your partner.


    Thanks for the support @fireyice, I am pleased you mentioned things as black and white, it’s far too easy to let shades of grey influence decisions, sometimes you just have to bite the bullet as they say! ;)

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